#bro im in LOVE with kazuha holy shit. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

historixally-accurate · 3 days ago

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hee hoo its late at night but im still awake so im repsonding teehee. youre probably gonna see this during breakfast, so. good morning! ohaiyo早安 selamat pagi <3

YOURE A NATURAL ENGLISH A1er?!?!?!? god damn but also lowkey me too LOL. i dont remember much from when i was still wriitng narrative/discursive essays, but i found it easier than others for the most part. holy yap. ill gladly listen to you yap too its only an equivalent exchange...we're both a bit insane for men halfway across the world who love to go fast in a video game.

your primary school sounds like a nightmare. goddamn. i guess my prisch was also pretty pressurising, but from the sounds of yours, suddenyl i think it wasnt that bad after all... psle huh, crazy times. seems so long ago help now i feel old. i hope youre gonna be okay in your current school :,) the sg school system really doesnt let up, but its really, really important to know that youre never alone!

thanks for the compliment about marker mediums, though i dont think its actually that bad unless you have markers that are seriously in need of rescucitation. like on their last legs. unfortunately i cant send a picture of that kazuha because going anon removes the image sending feature, so maybe someday in the future. once i work up the courage to actually talk to you under my handle >_>

OH WOW you really have a hbg themed phone thats so cool u_u i agree with your family, thats swag as hell. the slingshot feinberg quote sent me for absolutely no reason, im shaking w laughter rn and frantically trying to suppress it so i dont wake my family. send help😭😭 and youre so real for the daily usage of the word "mongey". its only NOT invaded my daily speech because im purposely avoiding thinking about it...if i bury myself in doing sports surely the bigbigmongey brainrot wont get me smile (no this isnt copium wdym) this is ignoring the fact that without thinking i keep saying "what the sigma" and "what the skibidi" unironically btw. both my friends and i know im cooked as fuck

i actually did NOT know there was an upcoming BAC stream. im like a fake ahh fan... ill do my best to be there but uh. my duties arent over, despite it being the hols. this sucks :^(

mad respect to you, actually playing the game you watch. my lazy ass would NOT get off my ass enough to do this ever smh. im sure getting knocked off by a piglin is a pain every speedrunner can relate to . same goes from hitting the cope. except for me, if that shit ever happens im skipping the cope and striaght up hitting the bong. for SG legal reasons this is a JOKE! MOH please dont find me

hey you take lit too ? aura level just went up dawg. youve just caught a fat lit lover right here. im a guilty guilty poetry lover. sorry i just love both poetry and prose it makes me go WidePeepoHappy

lowkey though if you ever decide to take a HBG members legs may i suggest mr lewis fulham ive heard him being desrcibed as a birch tree so that means hes tall right. ill even aid and abet! im sure he wouldnt miss a few cm

bro did NOT just do the clash royale laugh at me😒😒my friends keep telling me im firmly chaotic evil. like damn where is the democracy bros didnt even give me a chance to squeak out a fart before straight up attacking my reputation😟 they my opps frfr

i get it when you say you get pressed cause whenever things dont go as theyre supposed to i inwardly get more and more tilted LMAOOO dw ur not the only one.

i would loooove to watch hbg do more sports related content because i find it hilarious that the one time at twitchcon (?) during poundy's football match there were SO MANY INJURIES... tf you mean couri broke his mf elbow in a sport supposedly restricted to legs. as a sportsperson i really do love playing sports wahaha <3

i cant tell if youre serious about liking amath but damn if you like amath thats really good smile :) much more formula based but overall more predictable.

question for today... what made you decide talkingmime was your favourite hbg member? kinda curious and wanted to give you a reason to yap more about him . feel free to type out a response the lnegth of the mekong river, i promise ill read it i love to read (maybe that why im such a good lurker LMAO). personally im still undecided on who my favouirte member is, but since ive talked so much about mr condiment cringe man 21custard i guess ill just say i like him cause of his goofy ahh humour and memes. im just a sucker for people with good vibes/dryass humour/an entire arsenal of your mom jokes. dont ask about tgat last one. im currently trying to know tekniik better and im falling victim to more deez nuts and your mom jokes than ive ever experienced before. i love it btw

holy yap i think ive talked too much.....never trust anything you say after 9pm....i think they were right the demons got to me. namely my unhealthy terminal obession with fart jokes. same to you, hope you have a beautiful mongey pyun pyun morning <3 always happy to give you an essay response. arigato for readin ;)

-sgmcsr anon

hi anon!!! sorry for the late response, I just got sick and I WAS SLEEPING FOR HALF THE DAY TODAY. let's get cracking

about my amazing spectacular skibidi English, yes! natural English a1-er ^_^ well actually it was only up till like eoys where I got my first DEVASTATING B3, but apart from that, I've been doin good for English. call me. idk Shakespeare. idk. ALSO SHARING OF YAP.. whenever you gain the courage to ask on main, I'll gladly yap with you... I'm online literally 24/7 now that I've got nothing to do with my life, so it'll be nice to speak with someone in the same timezone and who has the same interests that I do.

about my primary school, yeah it was a little bit of a nightmare academically. coming to think of it, because of all I experienced, it doesn't seem that bad because I experienced it. but on paper it's terrible. wow. anyway, not to be trauma dumpy or unskibidi ^_^ struggling to make friends in my current school, and MOE's school system is unrelentless as always, but ball it we fuck, I am okay.

about marker mediums.. I see... that's really cool.. yeah, all my markers are like. dried up and I haven't bothered to go buy new ones or ask for new ones </3 I'd love to see the weed smoking kazuha one day... very excited

about my skibidi HBG wallpaper. I feel like my layout is hella cramped, but its what I have to work with because. I don't know how to organise my phone. maybe I'll sit down one day and figure out how to make it cooler </3 also, very mongeyful, very beautiful. I am filled with mongey joy. ome

not sure if it's obvious, but fein has also cultivated my usage of the word 'skibidi' specifically?? it's very obvious because I say it every 5 seconds :') and because of one specific mime clip, fulham has influenced me to say the word 'peculiar' very very often 😭😭😭 like instead of calling someone weird, I'll say 'dude! you're soooo peculiar.' yeah, I'm a little normal!

bout the upcoming BAC stream, yeahhh I don't blame you... mime released that fact like. a couple streams ago, and even then nobody knew he was live except for like. 20 people? so i dont think it's just you who doesn't know, dw! I'm just caught in the loop :3 besides, it's on either November 22nd or 23rd, and it'll take at least 24 hours, so don't worry about not catching it for at least a little ^_^

about my. haha. very terrible learning of how to speedrun. despite getting all the help I could ever want to speedrun, I'm still absolutely terrible at it, and I can never find the motivation to do so </3 I'd love to be better and gain more confidence or motivation.. I just don't know how to do that. also, fuck hoglins, suck it pigs >:(

ALSO. FUCKING FART JOKES?? I'm drawing the line...anon... you are behind bars now........ STAY AWAY!!!!! (/j please stay they're funny) as someone who's purely true neutral, I have no comment and will nod my head, saying 'normal ass Tuesday in singapore'

about which HBG members people.. fuck it you get the point I'm tired of this format. yeah! Singaporeans and their short fuses, it is so normal and I am no exception </3 it's awesome tho, I can keep boundaries as someone who says yes too much 😎 hell eyah

HBG FOOTBALL. couriway breaking his arm, silver r runs spraining his ankle and tapl harvey also. straining his ankle iirc??? that shit was so chaotic. IF YOU WANT HBG PLAYING LIKE. FOOTBALL. THE MINECRAFT KIND. here's a feinbergfunny/feinberg rocks video. enjoy.

I haven't done too much amath, but. ohhh it's so. clear cut?? it's very inchresting. I think it's not terrible so far... but I can't say for myself </3 must keep grinding forward and see

GOLDS DAILY DOUBLE.. why is mime my favourite HBG member.. and how did I come to that conclusion... man, it's been like 2 months.. I think it's cuz i watched the silverrrunsfunny video about HoN? and it's a lot of mime n silverr clips... the 5 minutes that they were trapped doing parkour in a cubby hole tryna get the last easter egg made me extremely intrigued like.. who is this MIME GUY... he's so peculiar... and then I finish the video, and see talkingmimefunny recommended!! I watched all his videos. and I got hooked. SO FAST. ended up finding people who also like him, and found out he did BAC, and. the rest is history. or historix. haha. Hahaha. I like mime because of how smart and organised he is, I also like how he take initiative in a lot of events that he's participating in together with friends. I also like people who are snarky and have a very interesting voice but you didn't hear this from me. at all. aaanyway, apart from mime, I also really like nEmerald and fein? I like emerald because he reminds me of lifesteal cc mapic, which drew my attention to him. he's also really silly. and I'm a sucker for people who have green as their colour pallete. feinberg.. he's just. silly. and he's feinberg man I don't know what else to say bout that 🤷

Holy yap. happy 11pm! NEVER UTTER THE WORDS 'HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MONGEY PYUN PYUN MORNING' EVER AGAIN. I CRIED. SO HARD. it's fucking hilarious. I'll start using that with my friends. anyway, as always, have a skibidi-tastic, mega ultra kawaii, animefied morning if you see this, and an alpha, rizz master night if you're seeing this at night and you stay up.

here's your daily mime doodle :)

#histostories #sg anon you're very cool #yipee!#I yapped. a lot for the mime bit.#he's so peculiar to me.#anyway #hope my yappery was enjoyed

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maiseui · 1 year ago

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HOLY FUCKFKFUCKDUCKDUCKDUCKFC HOLY FUCKCK LIKE HOLY FUCUUCUKDMK ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ JEMSJDKFJEFKJDD. IM KITERALLY LOSING IT BRO WHAT THE FUCJ KK KKK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

bro. bro. BRO. WHAT YHE CUCJCK??????? like the fucking 180 gave me WHIPLASH AND I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST ‼️ WAY ‼️ POSSIBLE ‼️ LIKE THE START OF RHE CHAPTER TURNED OUT REALLY SLOW AND I LOVE THAT U KINDA DRAGGED OUT THE CONVERSATION AND MADE JIA NOTICE ALL THESE TINY TINY TINY ABOUT HIM ; i can’t tell if it’s just your writing style or if it’s her characterisation but she definitely notices so many little things and she amplifiesit like crazyyyyyy?? I THINK ITS RLLY ENTERTAINING ACTUALLY bc I LIKE HEARING WHAT SHE THINKS AB JUNGKOOK?? ANYWAY IT SYARTED OF SLOW AND THEN U COULD LITERALLY -FEEL- THE CHAPTER SLOWLY AND SLOWLY AMP UP AND THEN FUCKING BAM!!!! CRAZY PSYCHO EVIL VAMPIRE JUNGKOOK IS HERE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ bro the way. i screamed. jaw dropped . this was insnae i have my head in my hands I FUCKING LOVE IT

The dialogue is Delectable. fucking Delicious. “the world calls for that nosiness” 😫😫😫 “i don’t bite, jia” YEAH U DO BABY 😫😫😫😫 “WHY SHOULD I DO THAT”??? 😵😵🤭🤭🤭 yes. yes. THIS IS MY SHIT RIGHT HEREEEEEE GIVE ME THE FUCKING CRAZINESS THE CREEPINESS THE FUCKING ARROGANCE BC HES SUPERNAYURAL HELL YEAAA IM IN LOVEEE w this reveal like it fucking amped up the story so much and i love it 💖💖💖 GIRL U DID SO WELL PLS U DESERVE SM Head pats 😭 IT WAS SOOO THRILLING READING THE LAST SCENE AND NOW IM LEFT W SO MANY. QUESTIONS LIKE WHO TF WAS HE TALKING TO??? THE PRIEST OF THE CHURCH OR ANOTHER CHURCHGOER ORSOMEONE IN KAZUHAS LIFE LIKE??? WHO???? ALSO IM LOOKING AT THE FORCED ROOMATES AU LIKE HUH???? IM SO CURIOIS TO SEE THE FUCKING EVENTS THAT LEAD UP TO THAT LIKE IM SATTTTT IM SO SAT FOR THIS ‼️‼️

also jia most definitely despises jungkook now like there ain’t no way she’s gna be like o? u bit n killed her ? me next pwetty pwease 🥺 WHICH MAKES THIS SO MUCH MORE JUICYYYYY LIKE ENEMIES TO LOVERS FUCK YEAAA BITCH ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

anyways u rlly did stop taking c******* bc girl u were hungry and guess what u did? U DEVOURED. U FUCKING ATE BRO THIS WAS SOOOOOSOSOSOSO GOOD I CANT EXPRESS THAT ENOUGH!!! the characters r so interesting and the plot is so intriguing w all these diff tropes so icant wait to see where this goes 😭💖💖ASL OTHE WRITING HERE WAS SOO POIGNANT I REALLY LOVE THE WAY UOU WRITE: SO CALM WITH SPARKS OF ELECTRICITY HERE IN THERE WHEN IT REALLY MATTERS I LOVE IT

lets gaur MANIFESTING CHAPTER 3 SOON 🕯️🕯️🕯️

jeon jungkook being perfect was a fact you could vouch for; up until he appeared to church without his dear fiancée and his chocolate coloured eyes that delineated so much kindness. the question is—why is it just you noticing his sinister differences?

pairing : jungkook x you (as jia). au(s) : vampire!jungkook, forced roommates!au, enemies to lovers!au. genres : dark romance, mutual pining, slowburn, angst, innuendos of suggestive themes.

content : you tear down jungkook’s fake front of being the most generous soul without knowing he’s an attractive yet menacing curse who lived for way too long. on days you want him to vanish, you sway at his sickly charms—and so does he.

your relationship with jungkook tied into a playlist.

previous chapter. next chapter. chapter directory. masterlist.

chapter two.

word count : 6,4k.

“can you spare some time?” jungkook now smiles in the way you expect. late for you and your suspicions. at this point, you’re just thinking—”surprise me more, jungkook.”

“coffee’s on me.” you suggest gladly. “it’s for yesterday.”

jungkook raises a brow. “are you sure?”

“let me,” you coax. “i’d say the time is quite perfect for it.” you appeal even further as you scan your surroundings once more. everyone’s already gone to where they should be. should you be pleased that no one is near?

“undeniably a perfect time to share cups of coffee.” jungkook nods like he just bought your seduction. “sounds like a plan.”

“you said it was your first day today?” you almost confirm for yourself. this guy hosts chaos in his life; he has too many things going on. you won’t even be shocked if he confesses that he’s actually a father of two children. “how about we walk over to the café at the front? it won’t be as busy as before, so don’t worry about running late to anything.”

“i wouldn’t have asked you if i was in a hurry.” jungkook tilts his head in amusement. “do you have somewhere to be?”

you shake your head in denial. “not exactly.”

“let’s take our time then, shall we?”

the next thing you know, you’re walking side by side with him. he’s half a head taller than you as he strides with confidence under the tender sunlight; one hand hooked onto his jean pocket, his beautifully proportioned legs leads him into taking bigger steps compared to yours. he’s more focused on the scene ahead of him rather than glimpsing at you back and forth; which is an act you’d predict from him, knowing how much of a smart conversationalist he is.

a defined jaw, cheeks full and protruded—it gives him the heavenly balance of youthfulness and masculinity. his eyes are so round and almost reflective with a glimmer, but some strands of his hair are soon going to blanket the starry stars thanks to the attractive length he’s trying to maintain—not too short; not too long.

“does that mean you studied anatomy in the past?” with a subdued voice of yours, you gently intrude his proclaimed silence.

“i unfortunately couldn’t make it further than second year of medical school.” he takes a hitched breath upon chuckling at his own failure. “but i was lucky to be acknowledged in the anatomy and physiology aspect of things, so here i am, giving out additional lectures whenever they need.”

jungkook likely excels in that too; based on the way he’s been conversing with you all this time, he’s been giving you the most detailed and thorough answers to your questions. he speaks fluidly too; he hasn’t stuttered once or spoke too fast for anyone to understand. you can imagine how he’d be when talking to the students in his room.

“everyone’s been wondering what you do.” you confess as you study the side of his face while walking under the trees. shadows envelop his pale face, and you’re no longer able to watch the subtle changes to his expression. “an educator suits you.”

“you think?” his cheekbones move upward; you assume he’s smiling.

“definitely.”

“can i ask how you injured that ankle of yours?” jungkook’s soft, deep voice blankets your ear like warm honey; a voice full of genuine concern. you can tell he’s not asking for the extra point into his account—that much you know after experiencing a life full of tangled twists and hazardous turns. “i happened to notice on the day we met.”

“and i tried so hard to hide it.” you easily admit your defeat in a whimsical exaggeration. “is this your interest in anatomy acting up or was i just awful at acting?” tightening your lips in wonder, you narrow your eyes at jungkook’s face of contemplation.

“i have a feeling you’re going to take back your offer on the coffee if i answer truthfully.”

“i didn’t know you had such a side to you.” you almost scoff before chuckling at his tenuous boast about himself. you suppose he’s not wrong, since no one else noticed for the past few weeks. jimin is an exception.

jungkook stifles a laugh. “i’m sorry to disappoint you.”

outside the trees’ embrace is the café. situated beside the university fountains, the café is petite for everyone’s convenience; the smaller it is, the easier it is for the baristas to receive and submit orders. from what you see, there’s three workers today—a good headcount for the morning wave of students desperate for coffee. their laughter enlightens you; it apprises you that your guess about the rush hour is quite true.

you sigh in relief. “there’s almost nobody around.”

“is there anything in particular you like?”

“i usually go for an espresso.”

“you do?” jungkook asks in surprise when he intentionally takes a bigger step forward. now you realise he’s been trying to walk at the same speed as you this entire time. “you’re the first.” he then says once he reaches the cashier.

“first of?”

“w—what can i get you?” the cashier stutters in nervousness. all the colour in her face has flooded into her cheeks, her shoulders are tense and her fingers are curled into her palms.

is she acting like that because of jungkook?

seriously?

like, seriously?

“we’ll have two espressos to have here, please.” with his customary smile glued to his face, jungkook swipes his card before you can even process your flabbergasted thought.

“wait—” instinctively trying to block jungkook from paying, your hand touches his at the sound of a melodic beep. your body freezes at the familiar sound, knowing it’s too late to bother, so you simply heave out a sigh of disbelief. “that was my chance.”

“how about you decide where we sit instead—” he suggests teasingly. “—after your hand wakes up.”

“i—” you immediately rip your hand off of jungkook’s. “sorry.”

jungkook nods at the cashier upon confirming the order before walking relatively out of the queue, seeing that there’s a student waiting behind. that’s another person witnessing you blatantly holding an engaged man’s hand.

jungkook is engaged.

doesn’t that mean he should be wearing a ring?

that was the left hand you just held—his cold hand—but there isn’t a ring on it.

is there a possibility for it to be on his right hand?

it’s not—that was the hand you held yesterday.

“where would you like to sit?” with the receipt slipped in between his fingers, jungkook turns to you for an answer.

“how about outside?” you suggest. “the sun’s nice, it’s shining this way.”

“shouldn’t that be the reason to avoid the sun?” jungkook shuts down your invitation adamantly; however, in the softest voice and the gentlest smile. without both, you’re sure it would’ve sounded like a warning.

“to some.” you reply vaguely for now. “we can sit over there.” you beckon towards the seat of two in front of the cake display full of creamy confectionery. it’s a place illuminated with mostly artificial light rather than natural lighting.

you know the silence he’s given you is indicative of an approval, but before you can entirely check his expression, you catch a barista approaching the counter to announce the freshly made coffees jungkook ordered just a minute ago. no doubt about it, they’re yours—judging by how small the cups are and how fast it was made.

“two espressos!”

“i’ll go.” you quickly insert. you need to remind yourself that this is not a race, but it feels as if jungkook actually started one. he isn’t good for the competitiveness you were born with.

like clockwork, everything collectively goes on like it should. you, jungkook—the two of you happened to meet out of pure coincidence today, and now, like two freakishly normal acquaintances who are on the same wavelength to maintain a conventional relationship as two catholics attending the same church, the two of you are facing each other—awkwardly—whilst sipping on espressos.

lips departing from the cup, you clear your throat before peering up decisively. “i’m curious what brought you to our church.” your face brightens; grinning heartily with your eyes in play now; they crinkle and shut tight, harmonising with the curve of your lips. “we’re quite undersized if you haven’t noticed already. that’s why you’re making such an impact in the community.”

“you’re flattering me,” jungkook breaks into a short, airy chuckle behind his cup. “but to answer your question, it was merely a suggestion. someone i know recommended your church, saying kazuha and i will be welcomed by a collective of friendly people.” he whispers, “which happened to be very true.”

his answer is so detailed yet so average. it makes complete sense to know he has to consider a friendlier environment for kazuha since she’s not quite fluent in korean, so a friend’s recommendation would be easily followed and trusted.

nothing to note there, and nothing is finding you like electricity like earlier. you could swear his silence spoke so loudly to you back there. was your instinct simply a figment of imagination?

“i assume it hasn’t been long since you moved to seoul,” you ask quietly. “is that correct?”

“i lived in greece for a while before living in busan for a few years.”

“greece,” you lower your gaze to reminisce. your daydreams were filled with overflowing desires to go to santorini one day—the thought still stands, if you really look further down in the crevices of your heart. “i didn’t expect that as an answer.”

“my parents got married there, loved it a little too much and stayed behind longer than anticipated.” jungkook chuckles deeply. “you and i both know how unpredictable life can get.”

“and you moved here because of kazuha?”

“because it all seemed to work out.” jungkook continues, “with the job opportunity of doing something i genuinely enjoy, and to live here with her. it’s much more convenient to stay in seoul if we have to go back and forth to japan as well.”

what if he really is a nice guy?

“that sounds like a dream, despite the constant moving.” bobbing your head with your lips subtly pouted, your thumb traces the curves of the porcelain cup handle. “it must’ve been scary, going from one place to another at a young age.”

jungkook sits in silence when he registers your last sentence. “it might’ve been.” he then admits emptily after a minute. the boy who possessed everything now looks so hollow.

“my father is a neurosurgeon, so he’s always away to operate. my mother is a translator for celebrities, so she’s always overseas, always living in different times.” you breathe out the tightness in your chest. “and it was scary for me, to be left alone like that—since home didn’t actually feel like home, with anyone there but myself. i figured it might’ve felt similar to your journey.”

jungkook lifts his head to smile warmly at your story. perhaps it reached him, like you wanted it to. “your childhood sounds more tough than mine, if i’m being honest.”

“it might’ve been.” you mimic his words playfully.

jungkook sets his cup down onto the table before looking straight into your eyes. he takes you out of thought. given the definition of his gaze, you really do think twice about how much his eyes glow, albeit exceptionally dark. “you said you were significantly interested in something rather than someone.” he tilts his head in wonder, “would that be ballet?”

“it would be.” you answer honestly. “so it’s not nice being handicapped with an injury.”

“tendonitis can be healed as long as you take good care of it.”

“how did you know?” you don’t sound shocked, but your eyes widen at his scarily accurate conjecture. “can you easily tell?”

“please don’t forget kazuha also follows your path.” jungkook grins when he alludes to his fiancée again. “she had the same problem in japan.”

“of course,” you nod understandingly. it’s no doubt that ankles are the first to go when you’re a ballerina. yet here you were, pondering if that was another mishap, since anatomists aren’t doctors or podiatrists.

“perhaps it’s your turn to tell me why you’re here,” he says. “i’ve been curious as well, since i can’t imagine what kind of business ballerinas would have at a university.”

you break into a chuckle at how naïve this smart guy can be. you felt it in the car—this guy feeds you the best chances to attack. “think harder.” you raise a brow teasingly, “this university has more than a normal university would.”

as told, jungkook indulges into deep thought. his look of contemplation shows him habitually tipping his head to the side as his orbs dive straight to the floor. at that, you become aware of his new piercings again. it’s even more noticeable now that it’s reflective.

“the dance studio.” he says after a short skip in time.

“that’s it!” you exclaim like you’ve been waiting this whole time for him to hit the bullseye. “i mean,” not only did you just notice how unnecessary it was for you to be jumping like that, but you also feel his words from before seeping into your spine. “i was only here to take a few of my belongings i left behind.”

jungkook frees an amused laugh. “i don’t bite, jia.”

instantly retreating to your cup of espresso, you take another sip before locking eyes with the guy. “j—just know that i’m taking care of myself.” you stammer in embarrassment.

“please stay away from physical activities.” jungkook leans over, both his elbows resting against his thighs when he does. “i’ll only say it once since i’d hate to be that person.”

“you’re…” you shake your head to cut yourself off. compliments will cause misunderstandings—you’ll save it. “thank you.” is all you mumble.

what if his voice changed a bit?

what if he has some new piercings?

what if he doesn’t wear an engagement ring?

what if he’s overly sensitive to sunlight?

jungkook is right, maybe it’s time for you to face the harsher truths of reality rather than fixating on foolish deceptions. there’s no need to corner such a flawless guy. this isn’t the time to allow your imagination to run wild—you’ve graduated from such thoughts.

what did you expect to discover anyway?

pushing himself back against the chair, jungkook coincidentally stares off to the side and catches the time on the wall. “i’m afraid i’m going to have to end our time here.” he states, “can’t be late to my first class.”

“go ahead.” you reply cordially. “i’ll see you on the weekend.”

“we’ll talk again.”

at his own words, jungkook stands, flashes another grin from above before exiting the café. the barista’s gaze is glued to his back as he leaves, and so is yours. the second you watch jungkook disappear from your vision, your eyes return to the front, only for you to stop yourself from swallowing when you notice jungkook’s cup untouched. the cup is still full of black espresso, now cold from the wait.

in your hands are brand new pointe shoes yet to be broken into, and ahead of you are mirrors, enclosing you in a familiar darkness. you sit there, and only a few lights are illuminated; they’re dimmed, not cranked to their maximum brightness. it’s you that you want to see—nothing else. it’s always been like this for you, though the darkness scares you time and time again.

clenching onto your rigid pointe shoes, you stare blankly at your bandaged ankle. as much as you want to tear the damned thing off so you can slip your feet perfectly into your new pair of pale pink shoes, you just squeeze your eyes shut and sigh out to the greyed ceiling.

will today become a mistake and a regret in the future?

there’s months left till the competition. a brief calculation of 90 days remaining until you fly out to whatever continent in europe and compete against ballerinas from different countries.

the thought of it kills you—it crushes a bit of you inside and you’re in flames to impress, but you know days of patience is what you need rather than gruesome hours of practice.

endure it.

face it.

broken things can heal crooked, and that can’t be you.

the weekend found you like how monday would; it caught you in a blink of an eye. your weekdays felt like vacation because you were only resting at home, caring for your ankle while studying your old ballet videos. you also might’ve squeezed in bits and pieces of your favourite series here and there and maybe cooked yourself two different instant ramen cups at an ungodly hour. you overdid yourself there, but you settled down to officially declare this time as your resting period.

you exit your car, unknowingly stepping into a wet splash. the puddle below your feet pooled throughout your drive here, because after one week, the skies showered the world once more. thankfully it wasn’t as persistent as last weekend, but it was still a hindrance on your way here. cars were desperate to slow down ahead of you, and all you could do was groan behind your steering wheel while selling yourself to the sound of rain pattering against your windshield.

you frown at your partially soaked feet before shaking off any excess water stuck to your sneakers. thankfully it wasn’t your bad feet, otherwise you would’ve dealt with a wet bandage. “the rain and i definitely have issues.” you grumble to yourself.

looking ahead, you see the usual crowd of people at your church, waiting around for the doors of the church to open for today’s mass. you’re exactly on time because of the downfall earlier, so you try to walk faster to avoid the fate of being the last person entering those doors.

when you approach the front, you wave casually to the few people recognising you first—kim jisoo, park chaeyoung and kim mingyu.

“you could’ve taken your time.” chaeyoung’s eyebrows both collapse in concern. “shouldn’t you be taking it easy?”

you shake your head profusely to reassure chaeyoung’s restlessness. she’d always be the first to worry if anything happened to you. “i’ve been taking it way too easy.”

“have you now?” jisoo squints in scepticism. “that doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“i have,” leaning forward into jisoo’s face, all you do is purse your lips and make a ‘tsk’ noise out of them frivolously. “you’d be surprised when you see that i’ve eaten most of the instant ramen you left behind last time.”

“really?” jisoo’s face brightens like the sun on a cloudy day when she hears that you’ve been outwardly taking care of yourself; eating what you want, sleeping as much as you want. “now i’m not worried—so, chaeng, don’t be worried.” she nods adamantly at chaeyoung.

chaeyoung huffs before smiling widely. “okay,” she dismisses softly.

“you say something too, mingyu.” jisoo pats mingyu’s shoulder—and it’s undeniably quite a stretch for her, since mingyu definitely has some height in him. “hasn’t it been long since you last saw jia?”

“i think… it’s been a good two months?” mingyu thinks aloud.

“hm,” you hum before cracking a laugh behind your hand. “i don’t know, you tell me. maybe it’s been three, or even one?”

“stop that,” mingyu uses his index finger to poke the centre of your forehead. you always get pushed back from this, consequently why the guy never stops. twenty more centimetres and you would’ve ran into his forehead with your own. “i went on my business trip when you won that competition.”

“impeccable memory.” you feign amazement by gasping dramatically. “how did that go anyway? didn’t you fly to beijing?”

“says you.” mingyu naturally lowers his hand. “it was nice, since getting out of here always feels good, like the air is different, the food is different, the people are different—”

“he hates us,” jisoo whispers noisily.

“he totally hates us.” chaeyoung whispers back just as noisily.

“no way, mingyu.” you gasp more dramatically than before. “without you here, the air is also different and the church is different—”

“i want you to pray for your safety today.” mingyu quips.

shrugging off mingyu’s wise words, your head turns, and you automatically notice jungkook engaged in a bigger group. some are laughing and exchanging carefree grins to one another, but the focal majority dons earnest expressions. when you glance over, it’s as if jungkook physically felt your stare; he doesn’t make it a secret (not that it’s meant to be) the second he recognises you from afar. eyes first—jungkook smiles, then you observe him slowly excusing himself out of the group crammed with adults and other younger adults close to your age.

“who’s that?” mingyu asks.

“that’s right, mingyu wouldn’t know since he was away.” chaeyoung says. “he joined our church probably a week after you left.”

“he joined with his fiancée—” jisoo adds quietly, “who is weirdly not here today.”

she isn’t?

“great to see you again.” wearing a cool guise, jungkook never misses to sound proper. he offers everyone around a courteous smile to begin before returning to you. “are you taking care of yourself?”

you laugh nervously, feeling rather aware of your friends’ stares. you want to desperately yell at their faces that you’re not homewrecking and this is solely happening because of too many coincidences. “always.” you answer boldly. “and i assume your lecture went well, judging by your friendly face?”

jungkook chuckles attractively at what you said. “even if it didn’t, i wouldn’t be making it noticeable.” he replies. “it went well, and i most certainly wasn’t late to it either.”

“as expected.” you praise. “also, is kazuha not with you today?”

“kazuha urgently flew to japan because her father suddenly had to be admitted for high blood pressure.” jungkook explains, “she couldn’t tell me when she’ll be back, so she preferred me to stay behind.”

“is that so?” you murmur. “please send her my best regards.”

“i will.”

“that reminds me,” you almost forget to make your adorable and speechless friends known to the captivating (and taken) stranger named jungkook. “this is mingyu, chaeyoung and jisoo. they’ve been a part of the church for as long as myself.”

jungkook nods knowingly before facing the two girls first. “thankfully we’ve already met before.” he grins comfortably. “isn’t that right?”

“very right.” jisoo agrees.

“sure did.” chaeyoung straightens her dainty shoulders and tucks her hands into her blazer pockets. “it’s really nice to see you getting along with everyone.”

“you’re too nice.” jungkook deflects.

“that must mean i’m the last person you haven’t met.” mingyu speaks up. “it’s nice to meet you, jungkook.” he offers jungkook a hand. you espy how levelled this whole exchange looks—it’s got to be the perks of being similar height. “i’m mingyu.”

jungkook gladly accepts his hand and gives it a firm yet gentle shake. “it’s nicer to meet you, mingyu.” he replies. “let’s get along.”

“you bet.” mingyu grins smugly.

“we should head in,” jisoo suggests as she brings attention to the opening doors ahead. the two doors swing open heavily with two female reverends pulling each door from behind. light leaks out of the fracture between the doors, faintly igniting the cool evening.

at that, the whole of the community moves towards the entrance. when you walk in, the church is ablaze—from top to bottom, almost every wall is covered in stained glass. it’s a place where you can’t differentiate the time of the day when you’re inside; day or night—the church always stays unchanged. this church isn’t as vast as others, but reasonably cramped and compact—you can see everything from where you are—that being somewhere in the middle, closer to the back.

beside you, there’s chaeyoung with her eyes squeezed shut and hands clasped. jisoo and mingyu went over to the right together, meanwhile jungkook is one of the people in front. upon taking out your rosary from your purse to clench in your hands, the priest climbs a short flight of stairs to stop behind the podium, standing before the pane of religious stained glass.

the mass goes on for an hour. the priest peruses the bible, voicing the god’s prayers. when the first segment rolls over, someone is chosen to read the next prayer behind the lower podium alongside the priest.

you, luckily, have gone up already less than a month ago.

as coincidental as it can get, jungkook happened to be today’s spokesman. how merciless of them, to elect a newcomer like that. nevertheless, in your mind, he seemed to be the perfect prospect anyway. not only does he speak eloquently, but you heard him—the guy never stutters; he delivers every word as if there’s a ribbon tied on top of each term.

jungkook relaxedly rises from his seat and treads lightly to the podium on the left wing. everything about jungkook is so blasé in this specific moment, which you assume is from his so-called experiences. as so, he even seems to be aware of how sensitive the microphone can be, otherwise he wouldn’t be flipping the pages of the bible so quietly. you knew it—he’s in his zone.

“... mother of god, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.” jungkook articulates. “amen.”

“in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit,” the priest recites. “amen.”

like that, the mass reached the end. it’s around 7pm when everyone scatters, returning to the normalcy of sharing conversations under the moonlight before concluding their weekend. the moon looms over half of the people who remain, while the rest bid their farewells until next time. consequently, that’s you saying your goodbyes to jisoo and chaeyoung, since they have a farther way to go than you.

“i’ll see you next week.” you mouth to the pouting jisoo and the pouting chaeyoung waving at you from ten metres away.

“did you drive?” mingyu asks beside you.

“i did,” you answer with your eyes fixed to the two girls ahead. you watch them vanish when they turn a corner into the car park before meeting mingyu’s eyes that were stuck onto you the entire time. “do you need a ride?”

“i was going to ask you that.”

“that’s awfully considerate of you.” you tease in a whisper. “i’m fine though, since i brought my ride with me.” nudging mingyu against his arm, you give him a toothy grin.

mingyu nods once. “you be careful on the road then.”

“don’t think my driving skills deteriorated because of a single injury.”

mingyu snorts at your furrowing eyebrows tagged along with your dauntless remark. “i’ve been thinking that way before you injured yourself.”

“oh,” you blurt blankly. “just go already.”

“i’ll see you next week—” mingyu drops his arm on top of your head. “—shortie.” he mutters playfully.

you kick the air when he’s staring back at you, already metres ahead. “i’m literally taller than jisoo!” you squeak when he’s gone.

in case you forgot anyone, you examine your surroundings once more. apart from you, everyone’s waving to each other, fading into the coal black of the night, disappearing to pursue their car to rush back onto the road. the headlights of some cars in the distance remind you of fireflies dancing in the dark; which urges you into a realisation that those glowing lights will be zooming off soon, turning off the majority of light in your life, so you decide to leave when the amber lights afar start to wane one by one.

walking quietly on your own, you reach your car—and that specific puddle you bathed your feet into last time. you squint and shake your head, denying the thought of making the same mistake twice. after, your hands sink into your purse to fish out your car keys before going around the puddle to jump into the driver’s seat.

the car park is fully vacant, but there are vehicles lined up on the main road just up front. not that you desperately needed reassurance, but a part of you rests easy anyway, especially knowing that there’s mingyu out there waiting for the traffic lights to blink green.

you hum while fiddling with your phone to choose a song for the road. “perfection.” the corner of your lips lifts at your favourite song—charlie puth’s dangerously.

before you can press the accelerator with your beloved music playing in the background, you glance at the church one last time absentmindedly. it’s like a built-in mechanism, checking out your back the second you abandon a place. you think nothing much of it until you catch a shadow walking past the spot you were exactly at ten minutes ago.

you must be seeing things.

if there was really somebody there, the lights would’ve switched on because of the sensors.

for a split second, you feel a shiver run down your spine. your neck and shoulders feel freakishly ticklish from it, but you want to prove yourself once more that you might be wrong. your body slants to the right, your head peeking out to see more of the church. the lights are still off, and there’s no one there.

“what?” you spit out in puzzlement. “stop scaring me.” you whimper in the dark while decreasing the volume of your song. you’re not in the mood for a party in your car anymore.

you’re seeing things.

eyes clung to the church in hopes of finding nothing again, you silently push the button to start up your car. “this is because i rewatched ‘attack on titan’ last night.” laughing nervously under your heated breath, you move your gear stick into ‘drive’.

it’s at this moment you see the light flicker. the light was brief and small, but you definitely saw it glint in your peripheral vision.

what was that?

which light was that?

you think back—if you possibly saw someone—or something go past the spot you were in earlier, it moved to the left—that being the church.

did someone leave something behind?

you think back once more—did you see everyone leave? was anyone left behind—or did you not see anyone leave? what makes you so sure that you were the last person out?

“why am i even thinking about this—” you sigh in disbelief. “let’s just go.”

wait.

hold on.

a thought crashes onto you—it ruptures everything in your head, and you’re thrown back into the endless pit of your unnecessary hyper analysis of everything and anything.

you didn’t see jungkook go.

you didn’t see jungkook when you saw everyone waving to each other.

if you think about it, jungkook would’ve been heard or talked about at the last minute. knowing he’s the star of the church, no one would just let him go without saying a word or two to him.

you would’ve heard that if that happened.

you know you’re crazy; you know you’re insane for jumping to this conclusion when you know this is psychotic of you.

you immediately shut down your car when you feel a silver of composure upon seeing that it’s only 7:40pm. an illicit disaster can’t feasibly occur at this time, or no one would actually plot to do anything profane at this time of the night. it’s still relatively early, and you’re going to sneak away and rely on security cameras if there’s really someone you don’t recognise in the dark, roaming around the grounds of the church alone.

conscious of the fact that retracing your steps back to where you were will trigger the lights, you duck your head and soundlessly approach another entrance of the church by looping to the side. it’s a separate entry for the priests, so it’s much more upfront than the main gateway. you have no idea if you should be feeling rather grateful or rather dense (for obviously committing to this thought of yours), but at least there’s enough cover for you thanks to all the shrubs encircling the building. no human eye can detect you with this much darkness drowning you as well.

the only disruption for you right now is this door. you can’t see through it because it’s not exactly transparent. anything you see through it is heavily hazy like a cloud, but you could try to make out shapes if given context.

crouching down to align with the height of the shrubs, you push your ear against the door to pick up any noise from inside. for now, there’s utterly no sound coming from the opposing side of the door; merely the sound of your ridiculously fast heartbeats. determined, your jaw tenses up and your toes curl in your shoes as you persist in waiting for the next few minutes.

the sound of doors swinging open—it’s forceful and reverberating. it’s conspicuous that the person behind the door has no intention to keep themselves a secret, like they’ve come with a solemn purpose.

the sound of their footsteps is relaxed, unhurried, rhythmic… they know exactly what they’re here for, and it’s not their first time coming here. otherwise, their steps would be broken up, wondering where to go in this pitch blackness.

“about your beloved girlfriend, that—” he cracks into a disturbing laughter. “i forgot which one.”

is that jungkook?

he exhales in thought, “the one you begged me to save.”

no way in hell that it is.

this guy sounds… completely different.

“she reincarnated,” he says. “and called herself kazuha.”

kazuha?

terror suddenly washes over you; your heart is now throbbing in your ear, and your muscles are completely frozen. now you seriously feel your instinct screaming and pleading you to retreat. even if your mind was detained with horror or not, you can barely understand anything—whatever the hell this guy is saying about saving, reincarnating and about kazuha—she wasn’t even here today.

“you should’ve seen the face she made when i bit her.” he snickers in a breath heavy and husky. “sorry, now i’m really bragging, aren’t i?”

bit?

“you’ve grown,” he mocks. “i was hoping to see you insane again. you’re quite a sight to see yourself.”

is kazuha… dead?

“let’s see how long you last.”

right after that, everything stopped. you couldn’t hear his threats anymore, nor his steps or the sound of the door slamming back shut. you can feel the rate of your heart slowing, but you already know every colour is drained from your face. whatever that was feels like a fever dream to you, and you still don’t know whether to believe if that was true or not. life has never been this questionable to you.

shocked, you muster courage to drag yourself out of hiding nonetheless. your car isn’t far from where you are, but you still think it’s smart to take your time. god knows if that psychopath is still lurking around and talking to the skies. you gradually find your way out of the shadows and see that your car is still undamaged. judging by how things are right now, you wouldn’t even be surprised if your car exploded into flames then ashes.

“jia?”

you stand there for a couple of seconds, feeling yourself shrinking away at the sound of your own name. you try your hardest to contain any shallow breaths and shaky limbs. there’s a weight in your stomach now, and the pounding of your heart is starting to feel painful.

“may i ask why you’re here?”

it is jungkook.

he killed kazuha.

“it’s not nice to ignore someone, jia.” jungkook’s aura completely shifts; there isn’t an ounce of sweetness left in his voice, instead he sounds exactly like that voice from before—you prayed for it to not be his, but deep within, you knew it could only be him.

“i was waiting for you.” crossing your arms, you deadpan as you spin around. this really isn’t time for you to argue, but you’d rather die than exhibit your fear.

“were we ever that close?”

“if we’re close enough to sit across from each other and share cups of coffee,” you challenge. “wouldn’t it make sense for me to stop if i see them doing something awfully strange, like talking about reincarnations and biting into your fiancée?”

“the world calls that nosiness.” with his head lowered, jungkook takes steps forward. everytime he inches closer, your body naturally flees by taking steps backward.

your limbs are free; you’re under control again as you back away from jungkook. “and what does the world call you?”

jungkook finally raises his head and glares into your tentative eyes brimming in perturbation. “instead of talking so much,” his fingers creep around your neck, and you instantly stiffen at his cold hand connecting with the heat emanating from the base of your nape. “why don’t you try and beg me to save you?” forcibly yanking you down to be on par with his lips, he then whispers scarily, “amuse me.”

your heart is beating so frantically, you could actually feel your body beating as one. it feels nauseating when it clashes with the pure fear coursing through your flesh and bones. your breaths are clinging to your throat and you’re failing to swallow them down. your legs are paralysed and so are your shoulders. one single move, and you think you’re going to crumble and fall to pieces.

“no one wants to die.” you answer breathlessly. “did kazuha not tell you?”

retracting his hand, you carefully watch jungkook resort to putting both hands into his pockets instead. “she couldn’t.” he laughs huskily, “she had no idea she was dying.”

snapping your head upward, you scowl at his deranged smirk. “what the hell are you?”

“i’ll tell you,” jungkook harshly lunges forward to press your body against the nearest wall. your back lands rather softly against it, and you think a lot of it because now you understand he’s exceedingly capable of adjusting his brute strength; that being nothing alike to a human’s. “in exchange for your blood.” he crooks his head into the side of your neck and breathes heavily onto your skin.

blood?

panicking, you try to tear him away by pushing his chest. he doesn’t budge, but you find a moment to steal a glimpse of his half-shut eyes that’s centimetres away from your face.

the colour of his eyes are yellow.

“jungkook,” you interject. “promise me you won’t kill me.”

his breathing stops, and you squirm as you watch the rest of his eyes open slowly. his yellow orbs are devoid of any emotion, but they look at you in fascination.

“i’m being serious.” swallowing the lump in your throat, you clench onto his shoulders desperately.

“why should i do that?”

#mai reacts #WHAT ARE U DOING WHY HAVENT U READ THIS YET 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

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aribeez · 3 years ago

Text

Stay

pairing: kazuha x fem!reader

themes: SFW, hurt/comfort, reader is from Snezhnaya, jealousy, Thoma makes an appearance (!)

synopsis: you leave liyue after years of trying to make a life for yourself there. it failed. now, you work on the crux, and alongside is a mysterious boy who always seems to be writing and who claims being alone is better anyways.

Warnings: swearing, kissing, trauma dumping, pet names, Tomo briefly mentioned, lumine makes an appearance, minor spoilers for labyrinth quest, NOT PROOFREAD

notes: my love for kazuha bends time and space. saving for him after i get xiao. i love how we, as a fandom, decided kazuha calls us "my dove". i also still have covid. fuck my life. side note, in case you don't get it already, i'm in love with kaedehara kazuha. like seriously in love. please enjoy this fic. i worked really hard on it. it's kinda long but drabbles are not my thing. anything i write will usually be long. leave any requests if you so choose.

✧

Past Liyue harbor and amongst the seas, a ship, so vast in size, makes its perilous journey back from Inazuma for the umpteenth time. Admiration fills you as you see Captain Beidou atop the ship, instructing her crew with such poise and maturity. How you longed to be upon the ship, away from this place.

Many years you have been trapped in Liyue after escaping the Tsaritsa's grasp. Her dictator ways matched those of the Raiden Shogun, but seemingly worse, because unlike the people of Inazuma, who reject the Shogun's ways (well, some of them), the people of Snezhnaya were under the Tsaritsa's spell, worshipping her every move. The next boat out before you could be stopped was to Liyue, so, leaving behind your estranged family, you travelled to the land of geo. It wasn't bad by any means (though the archon himself dying was a bit traumatic), but it wasn't home. It was a constant struggle to find work as a foreigner, even after living here for years, and to put it bluntly, you were lonely. Not that you didn't like being alone, the thought of someone weighing you down was alien to you, and you preferred your own thoughts. However, a friend would be nice, at least temporarily. You decided if you were going to be alone, you would make the most of it and travel.

This is the day you ask Captain Beidou to work aboard the Crux, until you can quietly escape the ship when it lands somewhere of value to you. You made a list of rules for working on the ship: stay quiet and keep a low profile. If you want to slip out unnoticed, you had to keep to yourself.

The boat finally reaches the dock, the waves around it growing larger as strong people file off the ship, carrying heavy boxes in and out. Swallowing hard and gripping your vision for luck, you march on over to the captain herself.

"And you!" She yells out to the muscular man carrying wooden crates on each hand, each one looking as if they were about to topple over. "Watch out!" She grabs one of the boxes with seemingly no force before it reaches the floor. You wince at just how close the crate was from reaching it's demise. Beidou sighs, handing the crate back to the crew member.

"Sorry, Captain." He says shamefully, looking down.

"It's okay!" She laughs, catching you off guard. What a care-free boss she was, how lucky the crew of the Crux were to be among her. "Just please be more careful."

With a smile, the man continued carrying the crates off the ship.

"Ah." Beidou sighs into the air, taking a swig of whatever drink was in her cup. This was your cue, it was now or never, before she leaves once again.

"Captain Beidou," You announce, a slight tremble in your walk.

Her eyes dart to you, stopping you slightly in your tracks. "It is I." She smiled, holding her cup up. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"My name is Y/N, an aspiring wanderer. " You continue, ignoring your bodies anxieties. "I would like to work aboard your ship." You surprised even yourself with how confident you sounded. You had to be if you wanted to get in the Captain's good graces.

"An aspiring wanderer, eh? We already got one of those. Why don't you stay in Liyue kid, the sea is no joke." She warns, leaning against the edge of the boat.

"Captain." You pushed yourself to speak, not taking no for an answer. "Please. You don't understand. I'm unhappy here, I hate my life. I have no friends or family." You pour your frustrations out onto the poor Captain, hoping the honest truth would get you aboard. "I don't belong in this mundane life, I am a good and honest worker, and can be of great help to the Crux." Your breathing becomes heavy as you finish your sentiment, a little too afraid to look at the reaction on Beidou's face.

Contracting thoughts twisted Beidou's face, wondering what to do in this situation. On one hand, she understood where you were coming from, but putting another person in danger out on the sea made her feel uneasy. "Okay kid," She finally responded, coming to a conclusion. "You can come."

A sigh of relief visibly fell from your lips as you clasped your hands in front of you in thanks. "Thank you so much, Captain."

"N-No need for all that," She awkwardly laughed, clearly not that great at taking praise. "Just grab your stuff and climb aboard. We'll be leaving back for Inazuma tonight."

You didn't have many things except two changes of clothes and limited mora you got from working odd jobs throughout Liyue, so you made it to the ship with plenty of time to spare before departing once again.

"Sorry, but there's not a lot of space in the upstairs cabins." The woman named Huixing said, leading you to the bottom of the ship. There was a small bed along with a tiny nightstand and chair, accompanied by a candle. "You'll be down here."

"It's okay." You smiled, grateful there was even a bed at all. You were actually pretty excited to have your own room, it's easier to stick to yourself and not get close to anyone. "I prefer this anyway, being alone."

Huixing lifted an eyebrow. "Alone? Who said you would be alone?"

"Ah-" Your mind started to panic, but quickly you took a deep breath, not wanting to seem weak already. "I just assumed, because there is only one bed down here." You point out.

"Yeah..." Huixing drew her breath out. "Actually, we're a little crowded, so-"

"Huixing?" A voice behind lingered, startling you. You jump, looking behind you as a man came down the latter. "What are you doing down here?"

Platinum hair blinded your vision as the man jumped down, a small thud escaping the floor boards. He looked different to the other crew members, he didn't seem as strong, nor as tall, but he stood with such grace and confidence, you were simply in awe at the man.

"Kazuha." Huixing smiles. "Sorry, I meant to find you earlier, but you seem to disappear into thin air whenever I need you." She sighs, bringing a hand to her furrowed brow in annoyance.

"Sorry," He mumbled sheepishly, his eyes now wandering to you. "I assume you had to find me because of her?" He asks, cocking his head to the side.

Crimson was the only way to describe his bright eyes, and getting lost in them was so easy, you forgot to talk.

"Yes!" Huixing beams. "This is Y/N, a new member of the Crux Fleet and your new roommate."

"Huh?!" Your eyes snap out of its mesmerized daze and back into reality. You were about to share this tiny room with this guy?! Did you hear her right? You hear the man, Kazuha, you assume, chuckle at your slight exaggeration.

"That's what I was trying to tell you!" Huixing groaned. "You're not alone, you're sharing this room."

Right...

"Well, the Captain needs help with unloading a few more boxes." Huixing starts climbing back up the latter. "No need to come up and help, Y/N. Just get settled and then meet us up for dinner."

"Wait, Huixing-" But like magic, she was gone, already scurrying out the door. you silently groan to yourself. Your perfect situation ruined. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath in at what just happened. In opening them, you're met with the man, Kazuha, once more.

He paid almost no mind to you as he sat on the small chair in front of the desk, gathering a quill and ink along with some parchment. You watched as he gently dipped the quill in some ink, leaving heavy strokes on the parchment.

Uncomfortable and unsure of what to do, you slowly bring yourself to the bed, reaching for the thin blanket. It was rough and a little stained. When's the last time it was washed? You eyes wander to the pillow. There was one. Great.

For what seemed like an eternity, you had to break this silence as it might kill you otherwise. "I-I'm sorry I invaded your space." You stutter softly, a blush appearing on your cheeks. "When Huixing told me there was no space, I didn't realize it was this tight." You admitted. Your words did not interrupt the flow of his writing.

"It's no trouble." He spoke, his gaze not leaving the paper. "The Captain told me this may be a possibility in the future."

His non-chalantness struck you wrong. The least he could do was look at you! You two are meant to be roommates after all.

No, you convince yourself. This is actually for the best. If you were to have a roommate, the least they could do was not talk to you.

"Well then, since it is I who is in the way, I can take the floor." You offer up. You didn't really feel like fighting over who takes the bed, plus, it looks just as uncomfortable as the floor.

"We will take turns, it's only fair." Kazuha sets his quill down, finally making the time to look at you. "Apologies for acting rude, but I had to write before my inspiration went away."

You stare at him questionably. What a strange man.

"Do you wish to tell me your name? If not, I understand." The way he spoke was like he was reciting poetry in a bookstore. It was flowery and gentle, unlike anything you've heard before.

"My name is Y/N." You finally answer.

"Y/N." He tested out. "Lovely name."

"Thank you..." You shifted awkwardly. You have talked more on the Crux this one day than all your days in Liyue, and to be honest, these simple conversations were draining you out already.

Kazuha chuckles at your demeanor shift. "You're tired. I can tell. Please, take the bed."

"I feel bad." You admit, shuffling your feet nervously. "This is your room."

"No, I am simply borrowing it. It is just as much yours as mine, please." He insists. "I will not be sleeping anytime soon anyways, so how about this? If you wake up before I decide to sleep, I will take the bed. Would that make you feel better?"

It was at this moment you decided you had nothing to worry about. He was a good guy, you could tell. After all, he was trying to make a stranger feel better, which is nicer than at least 90 percent of people you've ever met.

You nodded, unable to form words anymore due to your depleting energy.

"Excellent." He smiled warmly at you, grabbing the ladder. "I will meet you later." And with that, you lied down, drifting off.

Kazuha has never felt he had to stay in one place, actually, he would hate if he felt he had to stay in one place. After the death of Tomo, he has never formed such a bond again. His relationship with Captain Beidou was probably the closest he thought he would get to his and Tomo's bond, but Kazuha's heart has embraced change the last two weeks, and he wondered if the cause was an outside source.

You two did not speak often, but living in such close quarters with one another did force you to learn some new things about each other. Kazuha, to your surprise, hated mornings. It seemed he would rather fade into oblivion than wake up before 10 AM. You were not a morning person yourself, but you couldn't help but chuckle at the groan Kazuha let out each time Beidou yelled at your names to come help the crew. Also, Kazuha's flowery nature was not an act. It honestly shocked you that his little persona was real, because who in their right mind talks so gently and acts so generously all the time. It exhausted you just watching him.

Kazuha often leant you the bed even on his days, claiming the "floor is better for his back". You didn't believe him, but it was easier to just accept than to argue, because truthfully, you'd never win against him. He was stubborn, you learned that as well.

"I think being alone is what I need in life." Kazuha said one night during one of your many late night talks. "I feel better alone." No one left to lose if you're alone.

Kazuha also learned a little about you, about the fall of your family due to differences of the Tsaritsa's teachings, and how living in Liyue felt like a chore. He nodded understandingly as you spoke of freedom, the anemo vision you possessed shining slightly as you did. Kazuha smiled warmly to himself, knowing your morals aligned with his.

It took some time before he spoke of the fall of the Kaedehara clan and Tomo. He didn't say much, but you didn't need him to. The hurt in his voice told you everything.

Climbing down from the ladder at an atrocious time, you were startled to see Kazuha still awake, your room lit by a tiny candle as he wrote away on a piece of parchment. It seems your arrival did not startle him though, as he did not even look up at you. He was lost in thought as he scribbled violently.

Not wanting to disturb him, you gently set your boots to the side, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Kazuha moves as fast as the wind when he is on the go, so it's rare you see him sitting. Your eyes move to him unintentionally. The candle light shining on his soft face made him look almost unreal. You always thought Kazuha was extremely good looking, the way his white hair fell perfectly on his glowing eyes was almost like he was a portrait. The small red streak that went down his head complimented the permanent blush on his cheeks that wore itself so well against his pale skin. You felt a pang in your heart as you stared at the man whom you've grown so infatuated with the past few weeks.

The clearing of his throat broke your trance. "Sorry." You mumble. "Did I mess up your thoughts?" You look at him apologetically.

"On the contrary," He said, smiling at you. "I just finished. What's got you up so late?"

You bite your lower lip nervously. You swore to yourself you would tell no one of your plan of slipping away, but you broke your number one rule and got close to someone. Someone you maybe have developed feelings for.

Could you really admit to Kazuha you were on the dock deliberating if you were ready to leave him? Does he deserve to know? Does he even care?

"We land in Inazuma tomorrow." You finally say.

Kazuha nodded. "That we do. Is it your first time?"

"Yes. I've only ever been to Snezhnaya and Liyue."

"Are you nervous?"

The only thing you were nervous about was liking Inazuma so much, you'd want to stay. Though you were reentering a world you tried so hard to escape in Snezhnaya, the stories told by the people of Liyue indicated Inazuma was rebuilding after the awful vision hunt decree, and that is was a much better place. A place one would even like to stay at.

"A little bit." You answer.

Kazuha frowned slightly at the way you hung your head as you sat on the edge of the bed. Something was definitely wrong. He did not wish to push you anymore and scare you away, but he wanted you to talk to him. Why did he want you to talk to him? "It's normal to feel that way."

You nod slowly, not making eye contact. Why did this make you so emotional? Isn't this what you wanted? A fresh start in a new place? You knew the Crux would be temporary, but you never thought you'd grow to like it as much as you did. "I know." You croak out.

You gasp at the sudden force pushed upon you as Kazuha gently laid you on his shoulder. When did he even move next to you? Your breathing hitches as you feel warmth radiate off his body and onto your face. You've never actually touched Kazuha before.

"You don't need to tell me what's wrong." Kazuha explains, gently taking your hand into his. "Though I have a feeling, I shall not push, my dove." Kazuha swallows as he slowly entangles his hand into yours, waiting to see if you'd push away.

You didn't.

He clamps his hand shut, tightening his fingers around, causing a massive blush to run across your cheeks. Is this what was missing in Liyue? Not a sense of adventure, but a genuine connection? Between the sudden affection and the nickname, you almost exploded.

Until you remember what he said late that night.

How being alone made him feel better.

You wanted to cry, of course Kazuha didn't want you.

The warmth of his hands brought your touched-deprived self great comfort, as you unintentionally snuggled in closer to him. You stared at the way his hand wrapped around yours, a tear trickling down your face.

"Kazuha?"

"Hm?"

"I don't want to be alone anymore." You admit quietly.

Silence from Kazuha's end. All he wanted to do was bury you in a hug and keep you safe from the awfulness of the world. The last few weeks have been challenging for him as he battled these new feelings that arose because of you. Every conversation you two had made him fall for you slightly more. But he knew better. He knew you wanted a start somewhere else, and he knew he could not give that to you. Selfishly, he decided he was no good for you.

Tears fall harder when you don't hear a reply. You knew he understood you meant him, that you don't want to be alone anymore because of him, and he said nothing.

"Can I sleep up here with you?" Words muttered quietly after a few minutes of your choked sobs filling the room. You lift your head slightly to meet Kazuha's gaze, confused at what you just heard.

"But-"

"Please?" He tried again.

You sniffle, nodding your head. You couldn't say no to him, even though you knew it would hurt to never feel him next to you again.

Kazuha gently lies down on the pillow, laying you right on his chest. You hear his heartbeat as he strokes your hair gently. You don't even realize you're drifting off until your eye lids completely shut.

"My dove, I don't want to be alone either. But if I lose you, I'm afraid I'll break."

"Lumine?" Your head snaps to the side at the sound of Kazuha's voice. Lumine?

"Kazuha!" A high-pitched, cheerful voice calls out. Your eyes blink a few times at the flying fairy calling out to Kazuha. Next to her, a mysterious blonde, who is also waving to him cheerfully. "long time no see!" The fairy says, a beaming smile spread across her face.

"How goes the great adventurer? What are you doing back here?" Kazuha smiles. You swear you've never seen him smile so big before. Who was this girl?

"I just came back from defeating this weird labyrinth that was occupying Inazuma." The girl explained.

"Yeah, it was pretty odd, but we made a new friend! He's made of paper!" The fairy exclaims as the blonde girl, Lumine, groans.

"Paimon, you always word things super weirdly."

"So?! That's what happened!" She yelled back, causing Kazuha to chuckle over their debocal.

Feeling the pit in your stomach grow as you watch the three converse, you almost didn't hear Beidou calling your name outside the boat. You look down as she waves at you to come to her. You decide anything is better than watching Kazuha laugh it up with Lumine. Frowning to yourself, you drag your feet down the dock to Beidou.

Was she why Kazuha says he'd be better alone? Was he lying to you just to make you feel better? This whole time, was there another girl?

You reach Beidou, completely oblivious to the blond right next to her. "Y/N, meet my friend Thoma." She smiles.

You look up to the one of the most handsome men you've ever seen. He was tall, clearly toned, and had bright green eyes that reminded you of emeralds. You became clearly flustered, unable to speak.

"It's great to meet you, Y/N! I understand this is your first time in Inazuma, mind if I show you around?" Thoma was cheerful when he spoke, completely opposite of Kazuha who was gentle and soft.

"S-Show me around?" You finally spoke. Of course a stuttering mess had to come out. You became giddy at the thought of exploring new territory, until the shadow of your boss came into view. "Oh, I actually have work to do-"

"Nonsense." Beidou slapped your shoulder, a little too hard, laughing. "If Thoma requests to take you, I cannot say no."

You smile at her, then back at Thoma. He was cute, you did not mind this arrangement. Plus, the tour may help you reach a conclusion if this is where you'd like to stay. After all, it's not like Kazuha would beg you to stay with him anyways. It might be best to forget about him.

"Well then," You say, a blush forming on your cheeks. "I guess I cannot say no."

"Great!" Thoma gasps. "I know just where to take you! Do you like tea?" He started, as he linked your arm with his.

Unbeknownst to you, Kazuha watches as you touch arms with another man, a gust of wind rifling through his hair as his mood shifts.

"Everything okay, Kazuha?" Paimon asks, worry filling her expression.

No response comes from his mouth. Though the sound of the wind is silent to others, it is not to him. He hears the wind speak of you, speak of your cheerfulness alongside this new man in Inazuma. Lumine catches on, turning behind her to see you walking away with Thoma.

"Oh, there's Thoma." Lumine states, looking off into the land. "Do you know him?" She looks back to a dejected Kazuha. "Or..." She looks back at the girl linked in his arms. "Oh..." She sighed out.

"It's nothing."

Lumine frowns. "That's Y/N, huh?"

Kazuha smiles sadly, looking down. "Yes."

"She's beautiful."

"I know."

"Kazuha... Jealousy isn't a good look on you." Lumine sighs. Kazuha chuckles slightly in response. "You want her to stay with you, right?"

"Of course. But I know she wants more than I can give her. I will not be a barrier in her happiness." He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "Plus the way Thoma looked at her... I can tell he already took an interest."

"And what if you are her happiness?" Lumine pushes.

"Lumine..." Kazuha sighs, for the first time, at a loss for words. "She... She's planning on staying in Inazuma."

"How do you know that?" Paimon questions. "Did she tell you that?"

Kazuha shook his head. "No. She didn't need to. It's why she was so upset last night. She wanted me to tell her to stay, and I was silent." He confessed.

"Silent?!" Paimon exclaims.

"Shh, not so loud!" Lumine whisper-yells to Paimon, now turning her attention back to Kazuha. "Kazuha, let me tell you something." Lumine was strict, causing him to tense up. He's never heard her raise her voice towards him. "You're my friend, so I'm telling you this as such, okay?"

Kazuha nodded.

"You're an idiot."

Ouch, Kazuha thought. But she's not wrong.

"You obviously love her, otherwise your facial expression wouldn't read 'I want to kill Thoma'."

"I do not want to kill Thoma. That is immoral."

"The point is," Paimon chirps in. "Is that you'll be happier with her, and her with you. Please Kazuha, don't let her get away." Paimon frowns.

Kazuha looks up at the sky. "I always wondered where the wind would take me, never did I think it would lead anywhere after Tomo." He admitted.

Lumine pats Kazuha's shoulders understandingly. "I know, but now you have another chance, don't lose it."

"Kazuha." You breathe out, your breath hitching once you see him on the bed. "I thought you would be out around Inazuma." You confess.

"I had to make sure you would return..." Kazuha swallows. "That if you returned, then maybe..."

You look at the floor with sad eyes, the pit in your stomach returning as you remember him with Lumine. "Then maybe what?" You mutter.

"Maybe you decided not to stay in Inazuma."

You step back several feet in shock. How did he know? "How did you-"

"Are you?" He interrupted, not giving an explanation to how he figured out your plan.

"I... Don't know." You confess, playing with the tips of your fingers. "It's beautiful here, but something was missing..." Your face turns a bright red. You feel like an idiot. He has someone else.

"Y/N, can you look at me?"

You feel a stream of tears about to come down as he says that. You close your eyes, slowly shaking your head as you start to shake. "No." You whisper.

You open your eyes at the feeling of your hands being held. Kazuha stood in front of you, forehead touching forehead. He was close. So close you couldn't move. You felt yourself burning up.

"Kazuha..." You whisper, unsure of what to say.

"Stay." He muttered.

Your breath stumbles as you heard the words you searched for all of last night. No, it can't be. "What about Lumine?" You couldn't help but ask.

Kazuha moves his head back to look at you, confusion arising. "Lumine? Do you know her?"

You shook your head sadly. "No. I saw her with you, smiling, laughing." Suddenly, a strange sensation of anger comes upon you. You push back Kazuha's hands, causing him to freeze up. "Was anything you said to me real?" You asked bluntly.

"R-Real?" He stutters. "I'm not sure I understand..."

"All those late night talks, the way you held me, were you fucking with me?" You asked, your tone rising.

"Of course they were." He frowns. "Everything with you was- no. Is real. I just know Lumine from adventuring... Nothing more." Unbeknownst to Kazuha, you were just as jealous as he was.

"Then why-" Heavy tears fall from your face. "Why didn't you ask me to stay last night, or this morning, why now when I have to make my decision?" You cry out. Kazuha let you sob. He would let you punch him if you chose to do so. He didn't like seeing you cry, but knowing it's him causing you to feel this way made him want to be right beside Tomo in this moment.

"Because I thought you would be happier with someone like Thoma." Kazuha looks away, unwilling to look at you.

"Is that really what you think?" You ask, tears staining your bloodshot eyes.

Kazuha shook his head, turning back to you. He moves your hair from your face to behind your ear, his gaze never leaving your face. "Not anymore."

You sniffle, tensing up at his gentle graze upon your face. "Kazuha... I need to hear it. If I'm going to stay... I need to know why I'm staying." It was stupid, but this was it. If you decide to stay with him, it would be a journey. It's one you want to take, but you need to make sure he's just as willing.

"You should stay..." Kazuha slips his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. Your breathing stops as you both make eye contact with one another. "Because I love you." He whispers.

Just then, his lips came crashing down on yours as he kisses you passionately. Oh how you longed for such a moment. You wrap your arms around his neck instinctively as your lips tremble around his.

You both slightly break away, breathing heavily as you slowly open your eyes. "Please... Stay with me. I don't want to be alone anymore, my dove." Kazuha says quietly, causing a shiver down your spine.

Without thinking, you hug him tightly, your face buried in the crook of his neck. "Of course." You whisper as you feel his arms wrap around you. "I love you too, Kazuha."

“You know,” Kazuha chuckles. “The first time you met me, I was writing a poem. I said I didn’t want my inspiration to run out. It was about my first time seeing you, and how beautiful you are. I told my self I could not lose these first feelings of seeing you, so I wrote them down.”

You freeze at the sudden confession, turning a deep scarlet color as your stomach churns. No one has ever called you beautiful…

“And then,” He continued. “I wrote about you last night. About how much I would lose if I allowed you to escape me.” He stroked your hair gently as he spoke of his admiration towards you. “You’ve never left my mind, Y/N… Even the wind spoke of you to me.”

You’re left speechless. Tears filling your eyes again, you jump at the chance to kiss him. This time it’s longer, fuller, and you never want to let go.

“I’m so happy the wind lead you to me.”

#FUCK I PULLED AN ALL NIGHTER FOR THIS LMAO #happy new years eve teehee #bro im in LOVE with kazuha holy shit.#kazuha #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha x reader #kaedehara x reader #genshin x reader

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